Dinner Party - Smart Husband!!!

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests.

The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.

Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he ran into a couple of old friends and began to yuck it up and he soon forgot about his wife’s party.

It was well past 10 when he remembered. “Oh no!!! My wife’s dinner party!!!”

He grabbed his bucket, and ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he’s been all this time.

He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, “Come on guys, we’re almost there!!”

Baby Monkey - Juz for laugh!!!

A woman got on a bus holding a baby.

The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

PS: This is just for laughing..... not to hurt someone.

Lateral Thinking!!!

A priest in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.

One Sunday he announced, "Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Farmer Condill's henhouse please refrain from giving any money to the Lord. The Lord doesn't want money from a thief!"

The collection plate was passed around, and for the first time in months everybody gave.

Hiring made Easy!!!

A corporation advertised all kinds of positions to fill for their new office in a big city, the candidates were selected based on their resume and tested for their aptitude for the positions

The corporation put around one hundred baseball balls in some particular order in a closed room with the room window open Then they send a group of two to three candidates of particular discipline into the room and locked it from outside They left them alone and came back after six hours, to analyzed the situation:

[1] If they were counting and recounting the number of balls - They were hired for the ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT

[2] If they had messed up the whole place with the balls - They were hired for the ENGINEERING

[3] If they were arranging the balls in some other order - They were hired for the PLANNING

[4] If they were throwing the balls at each other - They were hired for the OPERATIONS

[5] If they were sleeping - They were hired for the SECURITY

[6] If they had squashed the balls into pieces - They were hired for the INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY

[7] If they were staring out of the window - They were hired for the EXPORT

[8] If they were sitting idle - They were hired for the HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT

[9] If they had thrown the balls out of the window - They were hired for the MATERIALS DEPT

[10] If they were clinging onto the balls - They were hired for the TREASURY

[11] If they said they had tried different combinations, yet not a ball had moved - They were hired for the SALES

[12] If they had already left for the day - They were hired for the MARKETING and finally

[13] If they were talking to each other and not a ball had moved - They were hired for the TOP MANAGEMENT

God's creation!! isn't it??

God created the donkey and said to him.

"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."

The donkey answered: "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"

God granted his wish.

*******

God created the dog and said to him:

"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.

You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.

You will be a dog. "

The dog answered: "Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years."

God granted his wish.

*******

God created the monkey and said to him:

"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.

You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. "

The monkey answered: "To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."

God granted his wish.

*******

Finally God created man ... and said to him:

"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.

You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.

You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."

*******

Man responded: "Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused."

God granted man's wish

*******

And since then, man lives 20 years as a man ,

marries and spends 30 years like a donkey,

working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown,

he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him,

so that when he is old,

he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,

going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That's Life. Is'nt it ??????????

Equal and Opposite!!!

NEWTON'S THIRD LAW STATES: "Every Action has an equal and an opposite reaction... "

Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb! There always exist two sides of the same coin!


All good things come to those who wait
BUT
Time and tide wait for none.

The pen is mightier than the sword.
BUT
Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike.
BUT
Fools seldom differ.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.
BUT

The best things in life are free

Slow and steady wins the race
BUT
Time waits for none.


Do it well, or not at all.

BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of a feather flock together.
BUT

Opposites attract.


Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.
BUT
Faith will move mountains.


Great starts make great finishes.
BUT

It isn't over till it's over.


Practice makes perfect.
BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

You're never too old to learn.
BUT
You can't teach an old dog new tricks

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
BUT
One man's meat is another man's poison.


Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.